15 Months  / Me Again
KEEP ME CLOSE by Absent Element

Look at me, I'm so far away.
Out of the way of rain,
far from the pain.
Well, if you see me in your
dreams would you still believe
all that you see?

Well, don't leave me out.
Don't leave me out.
Even though I'm not there with you,
it's good to keep me close.

Never thought that it would come to this,
that I would be so missed,
so quickly dismissed.
I want nothing more than to be with you at home.
I know it's been so long,
and what I did was wrong.

Well, don't leave me out.
Don't leave me out.
Even though I'm not there with you,
it's good to keep me close.

Closer to your skin, you've
gotta keep me deep within,
cause where I am right now,
I couldn't need you more.
Close enough to see, close enough
to hear you breath, close enough
to feel the warmth of you,
because I'm so cold.

Well, don't leave me out.
Don't leave me out.
Even though I'm not there with you,
it's good to keep me close.
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Happy Birthday  / Traci

Love you always Angel

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Wish you were singing to me again!!!  / Traci
OVER AND OVER by Nelly ft. Tim Mcgraw

uh uh uh...
uh uh uh...
uh uh uh...

Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
And I can’t keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad, yeah
Cause it’s all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
And I can’t take it yeah I can’t shake it
Nooo

I can’t wait to see you
Want to see if you still got that look in your eyes
That one you had for me before we said our goodbyes
And it’s a shame that we got to spend our time
Being mad about the same things
Over and over again
About the same things
Over and over again
Ohh
But I think she’s leaving
Ooh man she’s leaving
I don’t know what else to do
(I Can’t go on not loving you)

Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
And I can’t keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad, yeah
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again yeah
And I can’t take it yeah I can’t shake it
Nooo

I remember the day you left
I remember the last breath you took right in front of me
When you said that u would leave
I was too damn stubborn to try to stop you or say anything
But I see clearly now
And this choice I made keeps playing in my head
Over and over again
Playing my head
Over and over again
Ohh
I think she’s leaving
Ooh man she’s leaving
I don’t know what else to do
(I Can’t go on not loving you)

Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
And I can’t keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad, yeah
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
And I can’t take it I can’t shake it
Nooo

(Now that I’ve realized that I’m going down
From all this pain you’ve put me through
Every time I close my eyes I lock it down oh
I can’t go on not loving you)

Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
And I can’t keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad, yeah
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
And I can’t take it I can’t shake it
Nooo

Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
And I can’t keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad, yeah
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
And I can’t take it I can’t shake it
Nooo

Over and Over again
Over and Over again
Cause it’s all in my head Close

Hold Me  / Traci
Nothing has been the same,
Since you have been gone,
So much has changed,
As I've tried to be strong.

I'm living each day.
But I long to hold you,
Just one last hug,
So I could pull through.

But you're not coming back,
You can't ever wake again,
I stand at your spot,
Remember the times, when.

I picture the good memories,
Can't remember your face,
A photo of you reminds me,
And I wish you I could trace.

Because I would go to you,
And feel whole again forever,
I'd be with you permanently,
We'd be eternally together.

It would be perfect,
The way it was before,
But I'm alone here with out you,
Dying because you're not here anymore.

And it still hurts so much,
I'm really badly missing you,
Wishing you were here beside me,
So you could pull me through.

And the love I feel for you,
Will always, always be there,
Even though you have fallen,
I will still really care.

But everything has changed,
Since you have been gone,
And I need you to hold me,
Because I can't be strong.
Close

A Memory  / Traci
Well I stated in the introduction that I wanted people to leave stories of their time with Brad, so I thought I had better leave one too. Here goes:

One night I went into Sarah's house to hang out with her, and of course Andrew and Brad came to visit. Sarah had talked to a friend of hers that was living with Sarah's cousin and they were having a party that night. So when the boys got there, Sarah asked if they wanted to go out to the party. That was a silly question, of course they wanted to go to a party. 
So we waited for for Sarah to change, and gathered up some alcohol, and headed for my car. I was DD that night, but I didn't miind just hanging out with my friends was fun enough for me. 
We start driving to the party which is just outside of Belleville, and from the backseat we hear the voices of two men who sound like little kids. "Where are we going?" "Are we there yet?" It was all in fun so we laughed about and then Brad says "I know what this is. You girls are driving us out to the country so you can take advantage of us, especially while were drunk?" We all laughed and he says " I know that is what is going on here. You are going to convienently run out of gas,, and we will be stranded in the boonies, with alcohol and no where to go and nothing to do. And that is when you girls are going to take advantage of us boys." Everyone started laughing, except me. I said "Shit!!!" And pulled the car over and started to turn around. Sarah asked me what I was doing and I laughed. "We are almost out of gas!!!" 
The four of us were laughing hysterically. And of course from the backseat, you could hear Brad saying "See I told you they were going to take advantage of us Andrew." 

It was a good night after we got some gas. And a memory I won't ever forget. Good thing the John Deere place was there to turn around. JOHN DEERE MEMORIES!!!  Close

Tears / Traci


Even after 13 months, the tears still continue to fall. I miss you so much Brad. Close

Talk / Traci
Thank you for the talk tonight. I needed that. I needed to tell you those things. I hope you heard my words loud and clear. I hope you understood their meaning. You know I always loved you, from the moment we met. We just clicked, and maybe for reasons neither of us will ever know, but we did. You made me "weak in the knees" the first time you smiled at me. And you stole my heart, when you kissed me for the first time. I miss you, more than I ever thought humanly possible to miss someone. So many things left undone, and words left unsaid, so many smiles left to share, and kisses to exchange, and of course who can forget the hugs.....I miss your hugs, I miss your arms holding me so tight, and you telling me that everything will alright. Nothing is alright without you here.
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Miss you  / Traci
I just want to reach out and touch you today. I have this empty feeling today, like I am missing my whole heart. There is no beating, just lonely tears pouring out. I want to hear your voice call my name. I want to hear those sweet words "be happy" come out of your mouth more than ever today. I want to look into your eyes and feel their warmth and caring. I want to hear you try to be ever so smooth with your words and then see the sly smile that comes over your face because you know you can't get away with those cheesy words, whatever they may be. Your smile, so beautiful, and genuine. The smile that can melt hearts, especially mine. I really wish I could see that smile today, I need to see that smile. It always made my day better, and eased my soul. And I really wish that you were here to hug me. I would love to feel your arms wrapped tight around me, reassuring me that everything will be alright. I want that so badly right now. I miss you, you know. I miss you so much, and just so you know, I haven't forgotten our arrangement. You owe me big time. I was the reason and you blew it. Close

One year  / Traci

The days go by so slowly

The clock keeps ticking on

But time is standing still for me

Since the day you’ve gone

 

My heart, it aches so much for you

My soul is empty now

I feel a certain hollowness

I never knew before

 

I long to feel you near me

To hear your sweet voice call

To see your smile so warmly

And feel you arms so strong

 

Your face is vivid in my mind

The tears fall slowly on my cheek

My heart is hurting deeply

My mind, it feels so weak

 

You took yourself from us

You thought we didn’t care

You were so wrong, we loved you

Much more than we could share

 

If only you had told us

The feelings that you had

We could have tried to save you

Instead we are just sad.

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Your face  / Traci
Today, one year ago today, was the last time i saw your beautiful face....it was the last time i heard your sweet voice, felt your arms hugging me tight, saw your sly smile....it was the last time i felt butterflies in my stomach, and true love in my heart....it was the last time i would ever get to see you, talk to you, laugh with you, touch you...it was the last time....i can still hear your words from the talk we had, i can still see you so antsy, i remember the clothes you were wearing, light blue nike t shirt and jeans, and of course your ball cap....only saw you without it once....i remember the surprise i had when you said we could meet for a beer, i remember the excitement my body felt knowing we were going to talk again, i remember the nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach because i was so worried you would notice the 10 pounds i had put on....i just wanted evrything to be perfect, like it used to be....and you know something....it wasn't perfect, but considering the heaviness of the conversation, it was actually as perfect as it should have been.....i remember you telling me to "be happy" and kissing my forehead....i remember fighting back tears, and telling you i would love you forever....you were mad at me for saying that to you, and now i understand why....i remember telling you i couldn't help how i felt, you can't change feelings....and i remember driving away the night feeling out of sorts but knowing that i didn't love you any less than i had 6 months before, or even a year before....

what i didn't know was how fate was going to play out in the next 3 days, and had i known, i never would have left you that night....i never would have taken my arms from around you, i never would have left your side, and i never would have held back any feelings about you, or us, or our situation......i know you knew i loved you, and i know you loved me too.....but there are so many things left unsaid, and so many things left undone.....i just never would have left you....NEVER!!!!
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Wish / Traci

my only wish is that i had known so i could go back and do that night a year ago on the 20 over again...i never would have left you, i would have held you forever....i would have stared into your eyes endlessly, and breathed in every moment we had....but now it is all i have to breathe at all....i miss you bradley, i miss you so so much...it hurts....

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Always / Traci
Goodnight my angel....forever  loving you and always missing you....that sly little smile that i could never resist...i think i miss that the most..... Close

Ten / Traci Morton
10 days to go...10 days til once again i relive the  most horrible day of my life.....10 days till the world comes to a screeching halt....10 days til it starts to spin out of control...10 days til my head can't think straight....10 days til my heart breaks.....10 days til my eyes cry a million tears....10 days til everything that ever seemed normal, becomes abnormal, and crazy.......10 days til i take the last breath i will ever take in a state of normalcy.....no more thoughts that make any sense, no more smiles that are genuine, no more true feelings from a heart that cares, no more breathing......no more anything...
I Miss you, cookie monster!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Close

Missing you  / Traci
Almost one full year has gone by and I still can't believe youare gone....I never thought all those times you warned to not care would ever warrant anything....it was just you protecting you...hmmm, guess not....you were protecting me...miss you so very much  Close

friends / Joanne Anderson (mother to jazzy )
no one will ever know how close we were to each other you always know i was there and you shouldnt have did what you did im sorry i was'nt home when you called that morning  i will always remeber my last words i said to you and im sorry but i hope your live is better now and your not hurting anymore no one knew you as much as i did as a girlfriend we were together 5 years and friends alot longer  i will always miss you and i find my path you said i would i so happy now love you and be happy where ever you are Close